


Destination Unknown

by storyspinner70



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hate Sex, M/M, based on a movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 19:49:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyspinner70/pseuds/storyspinner70
Summary: Jared is obsessed with an old flame - and borderline neurotic. Jensen is…unpleasant. Neither is very happy when they meet. Will being forced to fly to and participate in a pretentious destination wedding be enough for them to bond? Or will one of them end up murdering the other in one of the “Happiest Places in America”?Written for SPN Cinema 2019.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 9
Kudos: 131
Collections: SPN Cinema, Wincest and others





	Destination Unknown

A/N: OMG y'all...I am continuing my tradition of doing a Keanu movie for this challenge. It's a thing, y'all. If you haven't seen it, Destination Wedding has some of the best dialogue of any movie, ever. I could have written 100k more words on this movie with no problem at all. Alright, fine...time to fess up...the sex scene in the movie is the least sexy love scene I have ever seen in my 49 years of movie watching. I was entranced with this movie and the fundamentally horrible people in it. lmao 

I've of course taken liberty, but some dialogue and scenes were too amazing to mess with too much. 

All that said, thank you to my amazing editor, as always. Onward and upward, y'all!

**Destination Unknown**

“Hey man, is that Away luggage?”

Jared started out of his bored daze and looked around until he spotted the man standing beside him. He’d noticed him earlier working his way through the crowd milling around the airport to get to the boarding area he needed.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The man smiled at him and pointed to the carry on at Jared’s feet. “I was just asking if that was the Away luggage I’ve been hearing so much about lately.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s great,” Jared said absently. He caught a glimpse of the man asking and frowned. He’d seen him out of the corner of his eye chatting up people so he could move closer to the front of the group of waiting people. “So it’s my turn then?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen you working your way up here for the last twenty minutes,” Jared said. “So it’s my turn to be your stepping stone to getting on the plane five minutes earlier?”

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is. I was just trying to make conversation.”

“Yeah, I see how you ‘make conversation’.”

“Wow. I was just trying to be friendly.” The man gathered his carry on closer in front of him and stepped forward in front of Jared. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, okay. I won’t do it again.”

“Of course not. You’ve already moved in front of me. There’s no need for you to bother me again at this point is there?”

“I was just trying to get away from you!”

“Really? If that were the case, you could have just stepped back behind me where you came from. I notice you made sure to move forward, instead.”

“Right. That’s me. The evil stranger with the dastardly plan. You found me out.” The man shook his free hand around as he spoke. Jared snorted. “Or should I say you're casting me as the author of a Byzantine conspiracy theory of a Machiavellian land grab designed to usurp your position on an aircraft that has eight seats."

“So now you’re trying to gaslight me?”

“Gas…” The man took a breath and turned to face the loading desk. Jared stepped up beside him. Neither spoke.

**

“Well isn’t this fantastic.”

Jared glanced up at the man hovering over his seat on the plane. “Wonderful,” he said dryly.

“Anybody want to trade seats?” The man called up the aisle of the tiny plane.

“You're ridiculous.”

“Anybody?” he trailed off and reluctantly settled down beside Jared.

“It's great back here,” Jared pointed out, buckling his belt and reaching for his snack.

“Jesus.”

“So, what takes you to San Luis Obispo?”

“You really don't have to.”

“Don’t have to what?”

“Talk. Honestly, I'd be happier if you didn't.”

“Fine.” Jared struggled to open his snack.

“Dear God. Would you knock it off? The crinkling is killing me! Tear it at the notch.”

“There is no notch.”

“Here,” the man bit out. “Give it to me.”

“I'm not giving it to you!”

“Give it to me!” The man attempted to open the bag himself. “Well, this one does not appear to actually have a notch.”

Jared just hummed smugly.

“Take mine.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They both listened with half an ear to the announcements and were silent through the take off.

“I'm going to Paso Robles,” Jared said. “I hope it’s a big place.”

“It isn’t.”

“Great.”

“Don’t worry, If I see you out at a restaurant, I'll go to another restaurant.” the man said.

“I'm not going to be in any restaurants, so don’t worry about it,” Jared snarked back.

“Why? Are you checking into a mental institution?”

“Har Har. I'm going to a destination wedding. Pain in my ass.”

“Please don't tell me it's Keith and Anne's,” the man groaned.

“How many weddings can there possibly be on any given day in _Paso Robles_?”

“I’m hoping two.”

“Keep hoping, pal.”

“And how do you know them?”

“I was engaged to Keith three years ago.”

“Oh, my God, you're Jared.”

“And who are you?” Jared demanded.

“He and I have the same mother.”

“Oh, shit, you’re Jensen? Oh man, you’re even worse than he said you were!”

“Same, sweetheart.”

“Goddamn destination weddings.”

**

An hour later they were staring at an empty pick up lane outside of the airport.

“There was supposed to be a car,” Jensen said.

“The flight was early,” Jared reminded him.

“Really?” Jensen said, “It seemed to take so long.”

Jared snorted and stomped over to a bench. After a moment’s hesitation, Jensen took the other one.

“So how much do you know about what happened between me and Keith?”

“I know that he broke off your engagement five weeks before the wedding,” Jensen said. “And now I know why,” he muttered.

“He had quite a bit to say about you too, buddy.”

“I bet he did.” Jensen was quiet for a moment. “Like, what did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter. Keith’s a dick.”

“He is, and you're better off without him. Which is saying something, considering how your life seems to be going right now. We should feel sorry for the bride, though, whoever she is.”

“You haven’t met her?”

“Did I meet you? I stay as far away from Keith as I can. My mother insisted I turn up for this shit show, or we’d have never met.”

“Isn't that nice to think about?” Jared said, a wistful look on his face. “Well, you _did_ show up.”

“So did you. _Why_ did you? Why would you come to his wedding? He broke your heart pretty badly, as I recall.”

“Shattered it into a billion tiny pieces, yeah.”

“Didn't you wind up suing him or something?”

“Yeah. I needed to lash out. Plus he cost my parents like $35,000 in deposits.”

Jensen grunted. “Did you win?”

“Settlement.”

“Did it make you feel better?”

Jared didn’t answer. “I came because he invited me,” he said answering Jensen’s earlier question instead.

“He only invited you because he wanted to act like a big, wonderful person, not because he actually wanted you to show up.”

“You think I wanted to come? I'm trying to be the bigger person.”

“See, this only works if _one_ of you trying to be a big person.”

“Why do you think I said _bigger_?” Jared rolled his eyes. “Well, and I need closure.”

“It’s been three years. How can you not have closure?”

“Do I strike you as someone who has closure?”

“He's marrying someone else. That's pretty solid closure. Firmly closed.”

“Closed is not the same thing as closure.”

Jensen opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by a car horn.

“One car, huh?”

“Looks like it.”

“Joy.” They got settled for the ride to their hotel.

“So, what do you do, Jensen? When you're not shining joy and light all over the world, I mean.”

“I run marketing for J.D. Power and Associates.”

“The _Car of the Year_ people?”

“No, that's a magazine. Separate thing.”

“I bought one of your cars of the year. It was a piece of crap.”

“Again, not what I do. That’s a magazine. Frequent mistake.”

“Is that the career you dreamed of? Handing out fake awards by the fistful?”

“Not us,” Jensen singsonged. “I work for a hugely successful company that is extremely well-respected in the industry.”

“It means nothing, though. It’s just more corporate back scratching but on a national scale.”

“International,” Jensen corrected almost absently.

“Let me ask you this. Has there ever been a car that wasn't a J.D. Power and Associates _Car of the Year_?”

“We don't do _Car of the Year”_, Jensen bit out. “That's a magazine.”

“I've seen those trophies, you know. They're on every car commercial for every car, ever.”

Jensen just sighed and changed the subject. “What do _you_ do?”

“Lawyer.”

“Of course you are,” Jensen snorted. “No wonder you argue so much.”

Jared laughed sarcastically.

“Is that what you dreamed of doing with your clearly esteemed life?”

“I can't remember ever dreaming, actually,” Jared said slowly.

Jensen just stared at him, but was luckily saved from having to respond by the car coming to a stop at their hotel.

They parted ways politely and distantly and headed to their respective rooms. Next door to each other of course.

_That’s okay_, Jensen thought as he undressed to relax after the trip and his encounter with Jared. _I just won’t leave the room other than to go to the wedding. That way I can keep my exposure to a minimum. _He had just flipped on the TV when Jared came falling into his room.

“Oops! Thought this was my closet.”

“Are you expecting a response of some kind?”

“I’d appreciate not getting one actually.” Jared went to close the door. “Oh, I see now that there is a lock and deadbolt on the door.” He looked chagrined but didn’t leave Jensen’s room.

“Sooo, we should probably use it,” Jensen prompted.

Jared started. “Yep. We should.”

The snick of the lock was louder than Jensen expected.

**

_Rehearsal Dinner_

“Do you think Keith is trying to fix us up?” Jared asked as he looked around the party.

“Not even he would be that stupid,” Jensen answered.

“Don’t be so hasty to assume there is any limit to Keith’s stupidity. Think about it: same flight, adjoining rooms, seated together here. That’s an awful lot of coincidence.”

“You dated him for how long?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Have you ever seen him be that concerned about another human being before now?”

“Oh, true. That’s a valid point. So, we’re what, the people you don’t know what to do with?”

“The people you had hoped weren’t going to come at all but they did so you have to put them as far away as possible from the “decent” folk,” Jensen corrected absently, air quotes floating in the air as solidly as if they were real.

“I don’t want to be that person, though.”

“Then you might not want to sue your next ex. Just a life tip.”

“Woman scorned and all that,” Jared waved Jensen’s advice away airily.

“Indeed.”

Far in the front, there was a slight disturbance that marked the arrival of the bride.

“She’s a tall one, isn’t she?”

“Seems he has a type,” Jensen commented, running his eyes quickly over Jared’s long frame.

Jared just snorted. “She’s Danish, right?”

“Dutch, I thought.”

“No, Danish,” Jared corrected. “From Denmark.”

“As opposed to the Danish from Japan?”

Jared continued as if he hadn’t heard. “He looks the same as he used to.”

“Plastic people tend to do that.”

“Well, I was hoping at the very least he’d gotten fat or something.”

“Is this the first time you’ve seen him since the devastating ending?”

“I’m glad my shattered dreams are such good fodder for you,” Jared snarked. “And yes.”

“Is it bad?”

“Oh yeah,” Jared breathed. “How can this really be the way this works?”

“How what works?”

“How can it be that we’re allowed to fall so hard for people who don’t feel anything back? It’s just cruel.”

For a moment, Jensen found himself lost in the sadness in Jared’s face. It was clear he was well over Keith, but hadn’t necessarily gotten past what had happened. There was a flutter in his heart for a split second. Something he was neither used to nor welcomed.

“Look at it like this. For a small spot in time, you carved a place for yourself where there shouldn’t have been one. You did that. You made yourself fit simply because you wanted to.”

“That just makes me stupid, though, doesn’t it?”

Jensen opened his mouth to respond but just couldn’t bring himself to.

“Oop. Attention! Officer on deck.”

“I see you met Mom.”

“More than was necessary,” Jared agreed.

“So just the once, then.”

Jared laughed in agreement.

“Oh, man I’d forgotten about Howard.”

“That fucking guy,” Jensen sneered.

“Who’s he with?”

“His girlfriend.”

“Whaaat? Howard left your mother?”

“I think ran away from her screaming would be more correct.”

Jared squinted, “Is…” He stopped and looked again. “Is his girlfriend an _older woman_?” He nearly screeched.

Jensen slapped his hand over Jared’s mouth. “You’re gonna get us kicked out,” He hissed, then blinked. “Wait, that’s what we should be hoping for, right?” Jensen removed his hand. “Carry on.”

Jared grimaced but said, “Sorry.”

“Leaving is leaving. At that point in his life, he’d have left her for a serial killer.”

Jared stared at him, his mouth twisted up in some weird way. “Have you ever spent any time with a woman?”

“Yeah, about two hours at a time,” Jensen smirked.

“I’m going to assume that includes dinner then,” Jared said dryly.

Jensen glared.

“Leaving her for a serial killer would have been better than leaving her for an older woman.”

“What? Why? She’d be just as mad no matter what.”

“Yeah, but you can’t get sympathy unless someone leaves you for someone younger….or a different gender than you are. That works, too.”

“What?” Jensen repeated.

“Look, take your dad. He left your mom for a younger woman. They eventually made peace with each other, right?”

“Sure. As soon as he impacted the concrete after he jumped out of a tenth floor window, mom forgave him for everything.”

“Uh, I see,” Jared said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I was not a fan.”

“I’m thinking you’re not a fan of most people though.”

“Hmm,” Jensen hummed in agreement. “Especially people that shoot me.”

“He shot you?”

“Yep.”

“What the fuck? Why? Wait. I’m not sure why I’m so shocked actually. I _have_ met you.”

“He said I was the embodiment of all his bad choices.”

“Did it hurt?”

Jensen stared at Jared. “Did it hurt? There’s an incredibly fast moving projectile burrowing through your body. Yes, it hurt. It hurt a lot.”

“What happened?”

“He caught me in the middle of a threesome with the neighbors and just started to shake. I thought he was having a seizure. Then bam, he had a gun in his hand.”

“What did you do?” Jared leaned forward, fascination shining in his eyes.

“I ran at him and he shot me.”

Jared blinked. Then blinked again. “You ran _at_ him?” he hissed. “Why wouldn’t you run _away from him_?”

“It didn’t occur to me.”

“It _didn’t occur to you_?” Jared was nearly shouting at this point, but Jensen couldn’t bring himself to shush him again.

“He _shot _me. I was pissed. He tried again but missed. I grabbed the gun and broke his nose with it.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I think it was the last straw.”

“Was that when he…”

“Tried to fly and failed? Yeah.”

“You’ve got quite the family.”

“No one’s gonna argue that point.”

They sat in silence for a bit watching the people around them.

“You can’t call a woman that old his “girlfriend”,” Jared said nodding toward Howard.

“What should I call her then?”

“I don’t know. Pre-corpse friend?”

Jensen stared at Jared who just shrugged. Jensen’s attention drifted back to the couple in question. “One thing’s for sure; with her on your arm you better know where the funeral homes are at all times.”

“And by “on your arm”, do you mean cause she can’t walk anywhere on her own?”

“I’ve never met her, but I’d take that bet.”

“Better hurry if you want to.”

“I’ll pass. But you know what they say.”

“No,” Jared cooed. “What do _they_ say?”

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Or what the pacemaker will let it have,” Jared whispered conspiratorially.

“I feel like we entered some really dark territory this last few minutes.”

“What else is new?” Jared laughed.

**

_Hotel Spa_

Jared visibly startled in his seat. “Now this is without a doubt the one place I never expected to find you, Jensen Ackles.”

“Yet I’m not at all surprised to see you, Princess.”

“Duh. I never pass up a good foot massage.”

“I am not at all comfortable with someone else touching...well, all but select areas of my body.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I saw the coupon in the welcome basket thingy and it’s a thirty dollar value. Not using it would have been worse than sitting through this. Even with you hanging around.”

“Sooo, you’re a cheapskate, then. Good to know.”

“I just have a…great appreciation of all things free.”

Jared narrowed his eyes. “So there’s no chance of you paying for dinner when we date then, I’d assume.”

“Only if I have coupon, sweetheart, or there’s a buy one get one free.”

“You are climbing right up my list of things to do, that’s for sure.”

“Am I?”

“Oh, yeah. You’re getting closer to the top every moment I spend with you.”

“I thought you were still in love with my mother’s other genetic disappointment.”

“Meh. In love is a little strong.”

“But you still love him, then?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Not shocking,” Jared said dryly, then sat forward in his seat. “You don’t stop loving someone just because they hurt you.”

“Since when?”

“Since forever.”

“I just don’t get how you could even like him.”

“I never said I _liked_ him.”

Jensen just stared at Jared, mouth agape. “Then how can you love him?”

Jared shrugged. “And what about you, Jensen?”

“I have opted out from that particular joy of life.”

“I’m sure the world thanks you.”

**

_Wine Tasting, Next Morning_

“Why would anyone drink wine this early in the morning?”

Jared jumped at Jensen’s sudden and unexpected exclamation, and his wine sloshed in his glass. “It’s a tasting, Jensen. At a winery. It’s what they do.”

“Toothpaste and grape juice, nom nom nom.”

Jared just shook his head and focused on the sommelier. He _strongly_ encouraged Jensen to do the same.

**

_Wedding_

“Oh my god there’s no steps,” Jared whined.

“Didn’t you read the contents of your welcome basket?” Jensen said dryly. “They warned us about that ahead of time.”

“This is a liability nightmare.”

“Maybe you can sue Keith again.”

“Why wouldn’t the van just drive us there?”

“It’s like 90 feet.”

“These are new shoes,” Jared said like it explained everything.

“So?” Jensen asked, dragging out the word.

“The soles are super slick and that hill is straight up.”

“It’s the gentlest incline I’ve ever seen,” Jensen countered. “If it were any lower it’d be flat.”

“Lies,” Jared said, chewing on his lip.

“Just take off your shoes.”

“I can’t go to my ex’s wedding with dirty feet,” Jared said like Jensen was crazy for the suggestion.

“Oh my god. Just lean on me,” Jensen said, exasperated.

“My hero,” Jared crooned while honest to god batting his eyelashes.

Jensen opened his mouth to reply, but Jared slung his long arm over Jensen’s shoulder and squeezed him close.

“Onward and upward, my trusty steed,” Jared exclaimed.

“Fuck me,” Jensen whispered.

*

“It’s 800 degrees,” Jensen complained. “Why is he in a seersucker suit?” Jensen asked. “Aren’t ministers supposed to wear robes or something?”

“That’s priests, and he’s not a minister. He’s Keith’s friend from college.”

“So friends from college can officiate weddings now?”

“They can if they have a credit card and the internet.”

“Just like that?”

“Why? Are you suddenly dreaming of starting up the First Holy Church of Jensen Ackles?”

“I’d have millions of followers in no time.”

“Uh-huh. And what would you preach?”

“That the world is bullshit and everything sucks and then you die?”

“Outstanding.”

“I think so. God, why would anyone have my mother as their maid of honor?”

“Immense amounts of fear and self-loathing?”

Jensen snorted.

*

_Reception - twenty minutes in_

Jared had a sort of soft, blank sorrow in his eyes that Jensen didn’t like. Not one bit.

“I used to love this song,” he said softly then glanced up at Jensen. Jensen had a strained, strangely awkward look on his face. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Would you like to dance?” Jensen said.

“What?”

“Dance. Would you like to?”

“With you?”

“No, with Howard,” Jensen replied. “Of course with me.”

Jared studied him for a moment and Jensen kept his face down, picking at the table cloth.

“No, I don’t want to dance,” Jared finally said.

Jensen felt strangely let down.

“What I want is to get out of here. Let’s go for a walk.”

“What about the shoes?”

Jared looked off into the distance. “Looks pretty flat to me.”

Jensen laughed faintly. “Alright, let’s get out of here.”

*

They wandered, the reception fading quietly in the distance.

Jared found that Jensen was just as clever when he wasn’t using his words as weapons, and it was…disconcerting to say the least. He could feel himself becoming attached, like some great emotional octopus that wanted nothing more than to sucker himself to Jensen’s face for the rest of his life. His own dramatics cut through, and he took a step back.

Jared knew he was borderline neurotic and overly dramatic. That he’d fixated on his failed relationship with Keith to keep him from having to ever commit himself that deeply again.

Jensen was…unpleasant, honestly. He had more protections in place than all the branches of the armed forces and he was obviously more comfortable being mean than he’d ever been friendly or caring. Knowing the little Jared did about Jensen’s family, though, he couldn’t blame him, but still. It was a shame that someone so beautiful was so shut away.

Jared had just turned to say something to Jensen when he heard a low growl. He grabbed Jensen’s arm, freezing them in place when he looked around and was confronted with a large, very prickly cat.

“Holy fuck! Jensen!” He hissed.

“What the fuck? What is it?” Jensen was turned away and hadn’t seen the creature yet.

“I think it’s a mountain lion.”

Jared could feel every muscle in Jensen’s body lock up. “Where is it?”

“To your right.”

Jensen turned slowly but smoothly until he had the animal in sight.

“Is it a mountain lion?” Jared asked quietly, his voice shaking. “Could it be a jaguar?”

“Do I look like David Attenborough to you?”

“Who?”

Jensen twisted his head just enough to glare at Jared. “Remind me to shove your face in a little culture when we get out of this.”

“_Are_ we going to get out of this?”

“Of course we are,” Jensen snapped. The cat snarled.

“Jesus Christ.”

“I don’t know what you’re worried about. I’m the one in front.”

“It’s gonna go for me,” Jared said.

“What? Why would it go for you?”

“I saw a thing.”

“Oh, sure. _Now_ you saw a thing.”

Jared continued like Jensen had never spoken. “They know,” he hissed. “They pick out the weakest in a herd.”

“We’re not a herd,” Jensen said. “We’re wedding guests.”

“He doesn’t know that,” Jared snapped. “Look at you. You got shot and fucking broke the guy’s nose with the gun afterwards. I’m clearly the weakest one here.”

“Keith told me about that bar fight y’all got into that time. You weren’t so weak then,” Jensen pointed out.

“Well, that’s true, I guess.” Jared conceded. “I guess it’ll be a toss up then which one of us will get eaten.” Jared was clearly bordering on hysteria.

“Look, I need you to run,” Jensen said. “I’ll distract him and you run.”

“What? I’m not going to run and just leave you here.”

“Just go,” Jensen said between clenched teeth. “I’ll stay here until you’re out of sight.”

“Jensen, no…”

The animal roared and paced a step toward them.

“Jesus,” Jared repeated. “What if we both run and no one distracts him?”

Jensen opened his mouth to reply but Jared continued. “No, neither one of us can outrun a cheetah.”

“It’s not a fucking cheetah,” Jensen said, exasperated. “We’re not in Africa.”

Jared carefully glanced back in the direction of the wedding reception but they were out of sight. He couldn’t even hear music or the din of many conversations. “They won’t even hear us scream,” he said. “I hate those people.”

“True,” Jensen said, “but it will ruin Keith’s wedding, though.”

He could see Jared cock his head out of the corner of his eye then nod. “Unless they don’t find out horribly savaged bodies for weeks or something.”

“Last chance to run,” Jensen said as the beast prowled closer.

“I can’t believe you’re the last person I’m ever going to see.”

“There could always be EMTs right before you finally kick it,” Jensen replied.

Jared opened his mouth to answer, but Jensen chose that moment to let out a roar of his own. It was deep and loud, fraying quickly on the edges like silky fabric with no selvage.

The cat reared, hissing, but backed up a few steps.

“Now!” Jensen screamed. “Run!”

Jared took off, dragging Jensen behind him. They ran and ran. “How far?” Jared panted.

“As far as we can,” Jensen said, checking behind them every few minutes.

“I can’t…” Jared panted. “I can’t run any more. Fucking shoes.”

They slowed, trying to calm their raging heartbeat and catch their breath.

“Holy fuck,” Jared said. “You saved us.”

“I saved myself. You just happened to be in the same place at that particular time.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Why can’t you just have saved me because you care about me?”

“Because I d…” Jensen watched Jared’s face crumple, and something broke, wide and gaping. “Because I’m an idiot,” he finished.

“Why did you save me?” Jared asked.

“I thought, for just a second, that maybe you were right. God knows you think you know everything else, what if you _were_ right? Maybe you were in danger. I couldn’t…I couldn’t be selfish like that. Not on top of everything else I already think about myself.”

“Is that the only reason? You didn’t want to be a more horrible person than you already are?”

Jensen stared at him. Time stretched, distorted and cruel. “No,” was all he said.

Jared stared right back.

“Fuck you,” Jensen snarled and reached for Jared.

Jared went easy but took it hard, winding an arm around Jensen’s neck even as Jensen ripped Jared’s coat off and dropped it into the dust. His followed and it was only when he’d broken free of Jared’s hold and used a well placed shove and a foot behind Jared’s ankle that Jared realized he’d been making a kind of nest for Jared on the grass.

“Jensen,” Jared moaned, eyes on Jensen as he stripped Jared then himself.

“No. Don’t ruin this. Don’t say a word.”

“How long has it been?” Jared said, ignoring Jensen as usual.

“Longer than I want to acknowledge,” Jensen said. “Let’s leave it at that.”

“Any diseases?” Jared asked, straining up toward Jensen, desperate to touch.

“No. I missed every possible sexual revolution,” Jensen answered then stopped. “But I don’t have protection,” he said even as he lowered himself on top of Jared.

“Why would you?” Jared asked, breath hitching as Jensen sucked and spit on his fingers before rubbing over and in Jared’s hole. “What are the…” Jared broke off to groan as Jensen bullied his way inside. “What are the chances you’d need it at a…ah, fuck…on a fucking…goddammit, Jensen…a destination wedding?”

“Having sex right now is irresponsible,” Jensen gritted out, his jaw clamped tight.

“Who cares?” Jared groaned. “How much worse could things possibly get?”

“So much worse,” Jensen said. “But I honestly don’t care right now.”

“Me either.”

“How does it feel?”

“Your dick?” Jared huffed. “It feels…yeah, oh, right, yeah.”

“How about now?”

“That’s...” Jared stopped as Jensen hammered in particularly hard. “That’s fine.”

“Fine?”

Jared arched up as Jensen did something complicated and wiggly. “Oh god, yes,” he hissed. “Fine.”

“Fine,” Jensen muttered. “Fucking fine.” He continued under his breath until something caught his eye. “Crabs.”

Jared froze mid undulation. “What? You have crabs? Did you just remember? What the fu…”

“No, actual crabs. Over there.”

“What? We’re too far…those are tarantulas, Jensen.”

“Oh, they look like crabs.”

“Do you need glasses?”

“Do you need to shut the fuck up?”

Jared planted his feet and shoved. “Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”

“Fine,” Jensen snarled then started pounding into Jared like his life depended on it.

“Oh fuck. Do you…do you think the mountain lion is looking for us?”

“Oh what the fuck, Jared?”

“What? What if he finds us?”

Jensen snarled and sank his teeth in Jared’s shoulder, drawing blood.

Jared arched up, thrashing underneath Jensen. “I’m just…I’m just saying, would you want them to find us dead like this?”

“Oh, they’re going to,” Jensen threatened. “Because I’m going to kill you before this is done.”

Jared screamed as Jensen shifted his rhythm, banging against Jared’s prostate in erratic, heavy hits as he twisted Jared’s cock in his hand.

“Come, Jared,” Jensen whispered, his voice dark and low. “You’re going to come before I do, and I’m going to fuck you even harder afterwards. Fuck you until I come, and however long I’m hard after that.”

Jared moaned.

“Even though you’re going to be way too sensitive after you get off for it to have any kind of pleasure for you.”

Jared groaned again, then stiffened. “T..t…tr…” He stuttered.

Jensen leaned down, laying almost fully on top of Jared, rubbing against him in a long wave.

“What, sweetheart?” He said. “Cat got your tongue?”

“T..Tarantula!” Jared finally yelled.

“What?”

“On my balls, Jensen!” Jared screeched. “Get it off!”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “There are no tarantulas on your balls, Jared.”

“I feel it brushing its horrible hairy body over my nutsack, Jensen!”

“There is no…I would feel…” Jensen broke off huffing and slid his hand off Jared’s hip and around to check where Jared’s balls lay on his shaft. “It’s grass, Jared. We’re in the grass.”

“Oh,” Jared said sheepishly.

“Yeah. Oh.” Jensen shook his head. “Unbelievable,” he muttered.

“I thought you were going to make me come,” Jared snapped. “Anytime now is fine.”

“Can you not talk right now?”

“Fine, just, you know it’s going to get cold out soon.”

“It’s early afternoon,” Jensen growled.

“I’m just saying.”

“You’re always saying _something_. Let’s see what I can do about that,” Jensen hissed. He pulled out of Jared roughly, making him gasp, then quickly turned him over.

Jared scrabbled at the ground, trying to get his knees and elbows under him, but Jensen dropped his full weight on Jared’s back, entering him again without even pausing.

Jared grunted. Jensen had knocked the breath out of him and he couldn’t seem to get it back. His whole world had narrowed down to the feel of his cock pushing into the scant padding of high grass and the silky lining of the jackets beneath him. He wasn’t sure which coat was Jensen’s but he hoped like hell it was the one his cock was dribbling all over.

“Worst…fuck ever,” he grunted out.

“Hah!” Jensen pounded Jared harder into the ground. “I highly doubt that.”

“I highly doubt that,” Jared mocked in a high screeching voice.

“That’s _it_,” Jensen said. He wrapped his hands under Jared’s armpits and jerked, leaning back as he pulled Jared up, his hands clamping against Jared’s chest and slamming him back as far on Jensen’s cock as he could go.

Jared yelled, and tried to struggle but it was no use. Jensen banded his arms around Jared to keep him still, using Jared’s own weight as counterbalance while he drove into him.

“You want to come you might want to pay more attention to that cock of yours and spend less time trying to get away,” Jensen said as conversationally as he could when he could barely catch his breath. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Fuck you,” Jared spat, but grabbed his dick like it had personally offended him.

“Original,” Jensen snarled. “I...want…you…to…come…right…now,” Jensen growled, and Jared did, slumping against Jensen’s arms as he did so.

Jensen let him drop and Jared landed with one arm and leg tucked under for protection. Jensen blanketed him again, his hips never faltering as he chased his own orgasm, uncaring as Jared twitched beneath him.

“Fuck yeah,” he moaned as he came, dragging his cock out as he orgasmed, finishing with his head pressed to the very ring of Jared’s hole. He shuddered once, then again and then leaned back on his heels. “Better get up, sweetheart, it’s going to get cold out here soon.”

“Fuck you, Ackles,” Jared panted.

“You already did.”

Jared moaned and got to his feet, grimacing as he pulled his underwear and pants on. “Your come is already running down my leg,” he bitched, but then glanced over when Jensen had no comeback.

He was staring in horror at his suit jacket. Jared started cackling.

“Oh fuck you, Jared, there’s come all over the lining. Do you have any idea how expensive dry cleaning is?”

“You’re the one that put it down for me, my gallant Knight,” Jared said sarcastically. “If you didn’t want me to come on it you should have put it somewhere else. Besides,” he hissed. “How do you think my ass feels?”

“Amazing!” Jensen spat.

In the distance, they heard the low growl of a large, angry predator. In seconds, they’d gathered their things and were gone.

**

_Jensen’s motel room_

They’d barely spoken on the way back to the reception or the ride back to the hotel. Even when Jensen grabbed Jared’s arm to keep him from heading next door, there was little to say. They fucked in the shower and on the chair and on the bed.

In the morning, they both pretended housekeeping woke them, but that wasn’t the case. They kept up a safe, steady stream of chatter through their showers and packing and the wonderful departure breakfast.

There was a spark of life when turbulence and the tiny plane they were on resulted in a drunk Jared dumping his teeny bottle of red wine on Jensen’s light colored pants. Jensen reached for him, probably to strangle him, but Jared was giggling and Jensen ended up tucking Jared’s hair behind his ears instead. They didn’t even look at each other afterwards.

It was a long flight.

*

Jensen gathered his luggage and Jared’s from the carousel, and Jared thanked him, his voice scant and low. Jensen smiled in return and slipped his hand onto Jared’s back as they moved through the airport.

Jensen’s hand shook at he arranged for a Lyft. Jared stood as close as he dared. They looked everywhere but each other.

It only took a few minutes for Jensen’s ride to appear. Jared stiffened, and reached for his own phone. Jensen stared at him as the driver opened the trunk. Jared refused to look up.

Jensen couldn’t breathe.

Jared was crying.

Jensen took a deep breath and strode toward him. Without even hesitating, he grabbed the handle of Jared’s bag out of his hand and handed it to the driver.

“This it?” the woman asked.

“It’s everything,” Jensen replied.

Jared was frozen and just watched as Jensen climbed into the back seat leaving the door pointedly wide open. 

“You need an engraved invitation?” Jensen asked, tone cocky but his eyes anxious.

_No_, Jared thought as he climbed into the car. _All I need is you. _


End file.
